The Secrets to Staying Together: Reflections from 50 Years of Marriage

When I look back on 50 years of marriage, I marvel at how quickly the time has passed—yet how much we’ve grown, loved, and weathered together. Marriage, my friends, isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way, the wisdom I’d share with anyone hoping to go the distance.

1. Love Evolves—Let It

The love you feel on your wedding day will change, and that’s okay. The butterflies might settle, but they make way for something deeper: trust, respect, and companionship. Don’t chase the spark of the honeymoon phase; nurture the steady flame of lasting love.

2. Communicate, Even When It’s Hard

Here’s the truth: silence can be more dangerous than arguments. Speak your heart, even when it’s messy or difficult. And when your partner speaks, listen—not just to respond, but to understand. Sometimes, it’s the conversations you’re afraid to have that strengthen your bond the most.

3. Don’t Keep Score

Marriage isn’t 50/50—it’s 100/100. You’ll each give differently at different times. Some days, you’ll carry more weight, and on others, they will. Forget who took out the trash last or who apologized first; what matters is that you’re building a life together.

4. Learn to Forgive

You’re going to mess up, both of you. You’ll say the wrong thing, forget something important, or lose your temper. Learn to forgive quickly and completely. Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your partner to feel it.

5. Keep Dating Each Other

The spark doesn’t have to fade if you keep lighting it. Take time to plan dates, surprise one another, and do the little things that made you fall in love in the first place. Whether it’s a fancy dinner out or a walk around the block, moments of intentional connection keep your marriage vibrant.

6. Weather the Storms Together

Life will throw you curveballs—illness, financial stress, loss. It’s easy to turn inward during hard times, but lean on each other instead. Facing challenges as a team will remind you of the strength in your bond and the power of having someone by your side.

7. Laugh Often

Laughter is the glue that holds us together. Learn to laugh at yourself, at the absurdity of life, and with each other. Humor can defuse tension, lift your spirits, and remind you not to take life—or marriage—too seriously.

8. Never Stop Choosing Each Other

Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s a choice you make every day. Choose to be kind. Choose to be patient. Choose to wake up each morning and say, “I’m in this with you.” After 50 years, I can tell you that it’s those daily choices that make a lifetime of love.

So there you have it—my two cents from half a century of holding hands through the highs and lows. Marriage isn’t a fairy tale, but it is an adventure. It’s about showing up, working through the hard stuff, and celebrating the good. And if you’re lucky, at the end of it all, you’ll still be looking at each other and saying, “I’d choose you again.”

Here’s to 50 years—and many more to those just beginning their journey.

Contribution from Freddie Ray Moore